Rebirth Online World

Creating, Telling, Sharing Dreams

Undead Seeks Warmth

Chapter 022 - Chapter 5


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........ Where, is this place?

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Am I .... broken?

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Inside this world, where nothing existed except for darkness.

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I, while rotating around, was there.

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This place .... that's right.

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Deep within my consciousness. The other side of my memory.

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The deepest part of where the consciousness of Himuro Takahina existed as Himuro Takahina was created.

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The place, where I have already visited several times before.

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However, it's strange.

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There seems something that’s different from before.

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While I didn't really know, what was different from last time.

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I'm sure, there's something wrong.

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..... It's wavering?

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That's right, this place is wavering.

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This 'world' which was the same as the bottom of a deep lake, where not even a spec of light can pierce through it.

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It's wavering, shaking, become unstable.

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So, this is it.

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I am already broken.

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The only way to destroy an undead which is 『Destroying the head』was used on me, and I was broken.

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Then this world that existed deep inside me, also seems to have started to disappear too.

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Aah.

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Fragile.

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How fragile.

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After all, the thing that was called undead is just something like this, if you pluck their head off then it should die.

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Before it was broken, I always thought that my body was quite sturdy, but the way it broke like that was too quick.

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Has my body's toughness been only comparable to all those beings that grow fur, after all?

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...................

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Well whatever.

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It's already unimportant.

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To tell the truth, I already tired.

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To the 'life', that no matter how far I searched, I can't even see the shadow of it.

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To this body, which have nothing except of its coldness.

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And then, towards this weak me who cannot take away someone else’s life.

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Recently, there's something that passed through my mind.

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It's an "if" story, what will happen when I am finally able to live again.

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What will I do after that.

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For a living being, food is necessary.

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And then, a living being's food is sometimes other living beings.

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For the sake to continue on with my life, I need to eat meat ..... or rather, other living being's life.

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For me, that was impossible.

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Eating other's existence, in other words steal it, I couldn’t do it.

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If I didn't do that, I cannot continue to live.

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I am, didn't even being able to fulfil the lowest condition for a living being. (TL : u can by becoming a vegan tho)

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Can someone like me come back to live? 

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How could I, all this time, saying such things with my mouth.

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Misha is always desperate.

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She's desperate to keep on living.

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For the sake of living she ate, for the sake of living she fight, for the sake of living she slept, for the sake of living she lived.

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Me, becoming the same existence as her, the desperate her that looks so beautiful?

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Don't joke with me.

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Me, the me right now, didn't have such privilege.

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Then, if that's the case.

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It's better to just give up on everything, then I closed my eyes.

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Perhaps, being broken at this place, is way much better.

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If that happened, I'll be at ease. I'm sure.

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Though until the end, I kept on feeling this coldness, everything wouldn't go as I wish it to happen.

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That's right. Let's give up.

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Give up everything, and then become something broken.

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All this curse, all this coldness, be broken and let's forget about it.

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Everything and anything already doesn’t matter.

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Misha, too.

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--- her appearance which is full of wound, her figure which lying at my feet came into my vision.

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Mayu, too.

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----- her chest got stabbed with knife, I recalled that figure of her becoming colder and colder on top of my hands.

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Sister, too.

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---- the spectacle when all of the heresy massacred by nee-san, still clearly cling in my mind.

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....... Nee-san, too

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---- her figure which sobbing like a child, keep echoing inside my mind. 

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Live! 

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Live, for your friend's share too! 

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Live, for the dead me!

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Live, live the share of everyone who already dead before you! 

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The one who live, cannot die until they die you know!! 

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Suddenly, I remembered.

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In the past, well even if I said it was in the past it's actually just happened not long ago.

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That word which I threw at a girl that I helped.

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..... That’s, right.

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Certainly, I am already death.

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However .... that's only limited to the body.

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My mind, is still not dead yet.

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Mayu is dead, both of my parents are dead.

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That word, that I always kept saying to myself since then.

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I wouldn't do a thing that broke that word for the second time.

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above all, I now understand

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I am.

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In this world, still have too much regret.

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Such thoughts about what will I do after being revived, right now that's not important.

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All of the pain, the harshness, the coldness, the suffering, everything, I just need to endure it.

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It’s not whether I could do it or not, I will do it.

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I wouldn't bother with what other people said, I will do it.

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It doesn't matter if it's just my egoism, I will do it.

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After all, if I didn't do that ..... If I didn't have a mindset like this, the next moment, I will break after all.

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That's why, I will do it.

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So that once again, I can stand up.

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So that, I will not fall down again.

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I will not steal anything, will not kill everything, but I will get the results that I wanted.

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For the sake granting that mad wish of mine.

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I will do it.

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Once again, when I was about to open my eyes.

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I realized something other than me in this 'world’, an existence other than myself which shouldn't be here .... was right there. 

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