Chapter 2: The Goddesses
================================ (TLC: All in 3rd person unless specified)
Right after Iori was transferred to the different world, a goddess was talking to herself in a weird room that was all black.
(Rifia) “Haa～～～, Iori was so cool…… I became friends with Iori thanks to that false breast and heavy makeup bitch. Still, why would he cover his face with nerdy glasses and a mask even though it’s such a cool face……well I’m sure he’ll tell me when he officially becomes my master♪ Ufufu♪ Iori has been sent to the different world and I should be leaving this room soon, right? O, it’s coming, coming”
Although Iori was already gone, her cheeks were still flushed and she was grinning from ear to ear thinking of the rosy future ahead until she was wrapped in light and disappeared from the room.
While Rifia´s head was full of Iori, she was transferred to a different room. It couldn’t be called dreary but gave off a lived-in feel.
It was a room that could easily accommodate 10 people. There were chairs for a number of people and in the centre of those chairs was only a table.
The room couldn’t be said to be for entertainment or amusement, but it was a place from which things that needed to be done in the other world can be supervised and for communication with other goddesses.
There are many people who associate a mysterious image with a goddess, but that’s just an illusion.
There are really only middle-aged bitches who are only good at makeup with heads full of men, men, and more men; they were accepted among their peers and worshipped as goddesses.
Since Rifia just became a goddess, she often got work pushed onto her. Well, this time she got pushed around by Iori as well. His mask and glasses, along with his long fringe hair, and air that makes people disinterested in him could be said to he his charm.
(Rifia) I was determined to rein in my expressions since I remember Iori saying he was a bit disgusted, however right after he left all of it burst out. Looking at my face, the other goddesses gave me weird looks.
(Rifia) As usual, the other goddesses besides me, Fake Breasts, Drag Queen and Bitch were sitting on chairs circling the table. Because I just became a goddess, I don’t know the names of the other goddesses yet…… rather, they don’t tell me. So I named and called them according to their appearances, properly.
(Fake Boobs) “Hey, Rifia what happened, you’re grinning so much. Have you finally lost it?”
(Rifia) The one and only girl who actually asked about me — Goddess Fake Boobs. Her height is about the same as me, a beautiful woman with tiny breasts who lets her blue hair grow to shoulder length. She inserts chest pads so that her pair of pathetic hills look bigger; the situation just begged for a tsukkomi but Rifia has wonderfully managed to let it pass. (TLC: Rifia is referring to herself in 3rd person and tsukkomi is a retort/comment.)
(Rifia) Most of the time sweet and docile, but mention her breasts and she becomes a demon.
The first time Rifia came to this place.
The moment she saw Fake Boobs, “Eh…… that chest is smaller than me although you are an elder sister to me…… your overwhelming defeat in the size of your chest against a younger woman, how do you feel!? Having smaller chests than a younger girl, how do you feel!? Ahaha, maybe we should call you O-ni-i-chan? No? Doesn’t it fit you perfectly? Onii-chan!” Right after she got a straight right punch that sent her out of commission for a month.
Later on, this event was called the Onii-chan straight right case. Rifia now straps her tongue tightly following the event.
After the incident, Rifia decided in her heart to never again provoke Fake Boobs. Right after Rifia recovered, she said “Call me Onee-san.” and thus it had been decided that Rifia would call her that.
(Rifia) “It’s different～ehehe……… I’ve found my future master……kyaaah, I said it!”
Rifia placed both her hands on her red cheeks and shyly wiggled her body.
(Fake Boobs) “……………Aah, I see, good for you. Congratulations.”
Aah, she finally got angry, thought Rifia as Goddess Fake Boobs stared at her as if she were a pitiable person.
(Drag Queen) “Your future master? Eh, you’re talking about that gloomy guy I put under your supervision?! Don’t you have any taste!? Oh right, I forgot Rifia’s hobby is related to outer appearances so it’s not impossible. Since Rifia is really gaudy.”
(Rifia) The one who called out with surprised eyes was Goddess Drag Queen. She’s taller than me and sadly her breasts are larger too. Her hair was also about waist length like mine but it’s violet colour makes her look like an Aunt.
(Rifia) Apart from her Aunty-like words, she’s an Aunty who at least approves of me.
When men who were summoned to a different world see this middle-aged woman they sometimes say “You’re a beauty” and “You look so mature” and Rifia, seeing this, would think that those men have horrible tastes. When she did voice out her thoughts, she received a piercing glare which sent shivers down her spine which she remembers well.
(Bitch) “Well, why not? Those men´s faces that were upset looked pretty happy after seeing me. You can see the pleasure of being summoned to a different world on their faces……very fascinating. Oh, but someone like Rifia may be better matched with duller men.”
(Rifia) The last one to speak was the one whose head is full of men, men, and more men, that’s why she’s Bitch Goddess. This bitch has a uselessly good face. As for her hair treatment, she still has silky silver hair even though she doesn’t take care of them. Her height is similar to mine; regrettably I cannot find suitable words to curse her with.
(Rifia) A while ago, she was asking whether there was a match for her. I muttered that a fat Otaku would be suitable for her and after I said it, got an upper cut that needed 3 months to recover from.
(Rifia) Taboo words for the Bitch Goddess who is a virgin. In the past, I had jokingly said with a straight face “Will you make another hole in your body?” she went berserk with trembling shoulders. I don´t think I can forget that event, ever.
(Rifia) “Ah, I’ll really have to thank you two, Bitch and Drag Queen. It’s truly good luck that you made me take charge of Iori-kun!! Thanks to you, I was able to meet my future master who is both wonderful and cool!! Ah, you have records of my room anyways right? You should look at my future master in it. Uhuhu”
Rifia was flashing a triumphant face, but in the middle an ehehe…… made her cheeks loosen when she declared it with her face directed at the 3 goddesses.
(Rifia) While the bitches who had heard those words were having amazed faces, I operated something with my head. Several seconds later, a picture was projected on the big table. The moment the projection came on, the three goddesses leaned forward in anticipation.
It started from the scene where Rifia was treating Iori unkindly and ended with the lover’s quarrel, somewhere there? In the beginning the three people were like, “Now, how did you ever fall in love with him?”, and giggling but when Iori took off his glasses and they saw his looks with their own eyes they were shocked. During the seducing scene they flushed red.
Only Bitch had a dripping nosebleed and was pinching her nose as she watched.
The moment the projection cut off, pleas started to come in.
(Fake Boobs) “Rifia, Iori (this man) hand him over (give him to me)!!”
Normally the hot-blooded Rifia would be happy to go to war. If it had been any other man, they’ll have a game with a few battles but she wasn’t stupid enough to try this with Iori on the line.
The Bitch was even begging to have his eye colour changed: very out of character. “If…… if…… I were whispered sweet lines one-sidedly by a handsome man, and hugged in a passionate embrace………bushiyaaaaa (nosebleed)” and she died after saying so.
It became troublesome, Rifia thought as she scratched her head; Fake Breasts didn’t say a word while Drag Queen beckoned at Rifia with a small wave.
(Drag Queen) “Ri Rifia, let’s trade! Will you exchange Iori for these prized cosmetics? It’s the one you said you really really wanted!!”
Drag Queen showed Rifia a small pink bottle as she spoke with Rifia softly.
(Rifia) “No way it’s a fair trade!!”
Whether it’s Rifia’s new found confidence, or maybe it was natural, but receiving Rifia’s denial Drag Queen was surprised and muttered…… “impossible,” vexedly grinding her teeth.
(Rifia) “Then that’s that! Since I’m going to go meet my master, I must get prepare to go to the other world now!”
Whether it was because of the hurriedness she spoke with, as Rifia pulled away from Drag Queen her breathing became ragged when she spoke with the other goddesses.
(Bitch) “Well, that’s impossible, Rifia. Going to the different world is quite troublesome. Even if you can go, wouldn’t it be around next month? Why don’t we all go and see who Iori chooses?”
(Rifia) Go and let Iori choose, you say? The Bitch being the one who mentioned it. She has tissues tightly stuffed in her nose after having a gushing nosebleed just now.
The moment she said that, Rifia nearly cussed that she should just go looking like that and get dumped by Iori.
“Haa……I understand. But can Bitch leave? If I am not mistaken, I’m sure I heard that there must be always two goddesses here……”
(Rifia) Placing my hands on my chin and I asked about something I vaguely remember. They are all very idiosyncratic women, but they are still goddesses.
“It should be fine, two people have already been persuaded. Well, won’t we wait patiently until next month?”
Ignoring Fake Boobs and Drag Queen, Goddess Bitch was floating a nihilistic smile. They were trembling with beads of cold sweat dripping down, fearful of the voice’s owner.
(Rifia) “Well, now that it has been decided…… I’ll have to watch out that no weird bugs latch onto Iori-kun…… well, even if it did, I’ll just have to peel them off…” (TLC: weird thing refering to love rivals.)
“My goodness, that’s quite the rare good thing to say, Rifia………Uhuhu”
When the day ended, the eerie laughter of Rifia and Bitch was echoing throughout the room.